LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE IS LEARNED. UN-LEARN IT. PART 2.
What you think and what you do, determine what becomes of you! Me.
"It is a demonstrated fact of life that YOU CAN NEVER BE “BETTER” THAN YOUR OWN SELF-ESTEEM; that is, how you feel about yourself in relation to others, based on your own sense of self - acceptance". Dr. Robert Anthony, (Who I thank and acknowledge for his expertise and insights).
Hello and welcome,
Continued from last post. Read that first.
3. Develop a self-confidence re-programming system. First you must determine to develop your personal self-confidence ‘set point’ to a new level. You can establish your own self- confidence ‘state of mind’ by reprogramming your mind to accept this new way of operating. You, me everybody learned to be un-self-confident at some time in the past and have ‘habitually operated’ this way ever since. You have thought and ‘done’ it with ease for years. BUT now is the time for you to re-learn. It is not that difficult to establish new, higher, ‘set point’ of self- confidence and live by that in the future. You can turn new thoughts and actions into your new future self-confidence ‘set point’ and use that in place of your old one.
You are currently already using certain thoughts and actions to create your ‘set –point’ at a low level. So, you know that the process works! That can be re-set by changing our thoughts and the actions associated with them, and make that your new way of operating. What you can alter and control are your conscious thoughts. You know what you are thinking and it is your responsibility to become able to change those thoughts at will.
It doesn't have to take months if you learn to think and do it yourself.
Psychiatrists and psychologists take a long time to ‘uncover’ and 'eradicate' the subconscious thought elements that are the causes of illnesses like anorexia and bulimia, and phobias such as a fear of buttons or even fear of clowns! The subconscious is notoriously complex, complicated and almost impossible to understand. I leave it to you to work out for yourself which of the two ‘minds’ you have most understanding and control of.
When you ‘think and do’ something habitually it becomes the way you operate/live your life. Use what you now know and make that your chosen ‘new method’ of operating. Make yourself your ‘own’, helper, psychologist and psychiatrist. Once you have established these new ‘thought habits’ use them as your new self–confidence ‘set point’. By doing this you regain ‘conscious control’ of your life second by second, minute by minute, day by day, week by week and so on.
Proof from a highly qualified and respected author.
Dr. Robert Anthony is the highly regarded author of a famous book, “Ultimate Secrets of Self- Confidence”. The last chapter, 14, has the title, ‘ACHIEVING TOTAL SELF-CONFIDENCE THROUGH A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE. In this chapter he writes, “Positive thinking is a way of looking at your own problems and those of humankind and trying to solve them through constructive thought and action. A positive mental attitude allows you to build on your strengths, overcome your weaknesses and be great, because within you is the power that you can use to make any dream a reality. It helps you to focus on the good things in life and allows you to give your dominant attention to what is right with yourself, other people and the world”.
(The power mentioned in the last paragraph is the power we each have to take control of, and act on, our consciously chosen thoughts).
“Once a person believes that something is true, (whether it is true or not) he then, acts as if it were. He will instinctively seek to collect facts to support the belief no matter how false they may be. No one will be able to convince him otherwise unless, through personal experience or study, he is ready to change. Hence, it is easy to see that, if one accepts something that is not true, all subsequent actions and reactions will be based upon a false belief………….It is a demonstrated fact of life that YOU CAN NEVER BE “BETTER” THAN YOUR OWN SELF-ESTEEM; that is, how you feel about yourself in relation to others, based on your sense of self-acceptance. These feelings are basically unconscious and have been programmed into your subconscious since early childhood”. Dr. Robert Anthony, again.
Consciousness rules OK?
So, if you continue to ‘think and do’ ”I’m not very self -confident”, without challenging the ‘truth’ of the thought, that’s how you will act. The answer is to consciously think, “I am able to become self-confident to any level I choose” and act on/do that thought. When your subconscious mind tries to convince you otherwise, make your common-sense, sensible and dependable conscious mind the ‘watchman’ and ‘trash’ such 'subconsciously infected' thinking. Do this every time any thought of doubt or insecurity happens.
This process can be learned and applied to all your future thinking. By doing so you will build up a new, more helpful and more useful ‘conscious barrier’ to overcome and eventually re-stock your current ‘sub-conscious thought, library. Practice, perfect and habitually use the (consciously) think and do formula/process effectively in any area of your life, for the rest of your life.
Start now to develop the 'conscious effort' to assess your self-talk, your thoughts, about who and what you are. Then defuse any doubt, uncertainties or 'non common- sense' elements of your thinking using your conscious 'watchman'. Re-read and learn sections 1, 2, and 3 to use as 'your personal watchman'.
Beneficially yours, always,
P.S. To learn how to develop the 'toughness of mind' needed to support your 'watchman' for the future you can do no better than to learn new thoughts from any of my other Posts. Take a look at some and start to build your 'mental muscle'.